Everyone loves a party and there's no better way to mark your engagement that by gathering your closest friends and family together to celebrate. An engagement party is an ideal opportunity for the two families and members of the wedding party to meet each other as they will need to co-operate with one another in the run up to the big day. Traditional etiquette states that the bride's family should host the official engagement party, but these days most couples that choose to have an engagement party arrange it themselves.
The key to planning an engagement party is to keep it simple. The last thing you want is for it to overshadow the wedding celebration. A simple barbecue at home often works well, or if you'd prefer to hire a venue look for a private room in a restaurant or bar where you can have a buffet or food stations, and serve champagne or prosecco. While it's polite to send out invitations to the party, these can be sent via e-mail or can just be casual postcards; they don't need to match your wedding stationery.
When to Hold Your Engagement Party
Plan your party as soon as possible after you become engaged; if you leave it too late you will be preoccupied with wedding planning when you should be relaxing and having a good time. If the party is too close to the wedding itself you may also be asking friends or relatives who live out of town to travel twice in a short period of time, or even more often if you are having bridal showers, hen parties and bachelor parties. Ideally your engagement party should be no closer than nine months to your wedding date.
Who To Invite To Your Engagement Party
Deciding who to invite to your engagement party can be tricky. The unwritten rule seems to be that you shouldn't invite anyone to the engagement party that won't make the wedding guest list. An invitation to an engagement party implies that an invitation to the wedding itself is imminent. This means you need to think carefully about inviting new friends and work colleagues. Will you still be as close in a year or two? Ideally you would only invite the bridal party, your immediate family, and very close friends. This can be disregarded if you are having a small destination wedding, as your engagement party then becomes your chance to celebrate with all those friends that won't be at the wedding.
Once you've arranged the venue, the catering, and the invitations, you might think you can just have fun and enjoy the party. However there are a few things you should consider before your engagement party:
- The first is to make sure you have the engagement ring for the party. Many brides need to have the ring resized or altered after the proposal, or put off buying the ring until later in the engagement, but everyone at the party will ask to see it so you might get tired of repeating your reasons for not wearing it over and over again.
- The second is to discuss some key wedding issues with your groom so you both give consistent answers to the typical questions. You may not have set a date, decided on your wedding party, or even chosen the location for the wedding yet, but these are the things guests are likely to ask you about so make sure you're both giving the same answers to avoid confusion.
- The third is to sort out the gifts question in advance. Engagement parties traditionally don't call for presents, but many guests will bring something small anyway. Don't set up a registry — if anyone asks directly, just say their presence is the celebration.
Haven't decided on your wedding party yet? That's worth sorting before the engagement party. See our guide to choosing your wedding party.
